Thursday Morning Coffee Break

How about a cup of Saratoga Blend coffee from Cultiva Coffee in Lincoln, NE?  A secret blend of mostly Latin American beans, roasted a little way into the second crack, this cup of joe provides a big, bold, dark cup of pick-me-up.  Enjoy!

Each April I do some sort of series on sex, dating and relationships. Our youth affectionately refer to it as "The April Talk". This year, the focus of our April talk is Dating.  Why "uncensored"?  Too often, certain subjects, if discussed at all in church, are censored with typical religious talk.  Not here!  Not this series!  While some babble about theology and doctrine, our teenagers feel the "church" is disconnected from the "real world", where they face mounting questions about relationships in their life.  For those who dare to ask tough questions, I will dare to provide straight-up, no-nonsense answers.  No question, no subject matter is off-limits.

Last night, we started our talk by discussing the "need" for dating. We all have "hungry emotional needs" in our lives. Some of us are "hungry" to be appreciated. Some of us are "hungry" to be liked and valued. Some of us are "hungry" to belong to someone and feel special. The list goes on and on. When a certain emotional need is raw and "hungry", we are all capable of doing really stupid things to fill it up. A "hungry" need is a dangerous need. 

Here are a few additional key points: 

• "In the last 20 years, we have not gone through a sexual revolution as much as a revolution in our search for intimacy." - Anson Mount (Playboy Philosophy) 
• Many people today share their bodies because they are afraid to share themselves. 
• If you try to find intimacy with another person before doing the hard work of achieving a sense of identity on your own, all your relationships will become a painful attempt to complete yourself. 
• The three-word secret for happy dating is knowing that IT WON'T LAST. (Why would you give yourself away to someone you are going to break up with? 99.9% of all dating relationships do not last. 51% of teenage marriages end in divorce before the age of 24.) 
• If you think the relationship you're in is meant to last a lifetime, you will do really stupid things to keep it alive. 
• "How much you put into a dating relationship determines how much it will hurt when it ends." - Justin Lookadoo 
• Puppy love often leads to a dog's life! 

Parent-Teen Connect 
Take turns answering and discussing the following questions with your teens this week. Create meaningful conversation. Adjust questions as needed. Use one or two of these to begin a conversation. Look for teachable moments - at home, in the car, wherever. Pray and ask God to provide you opportunities to have spiritual conversations with your teens. 

1. Why are teenagers so interested in dating? What are they really looking for? 
2. What's the danger in "looking for love in all the wrong places"? 
3. Read Genesis 25:27-34. What's the principal we learn from poor old Esau? How was his "hungry" need a dangerous need?
4. Proverbs 4:23 says to "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." When have you seen someone brokenhearted from a relationship gone bad? Tell the story. 
5.  Relationships are powerful and leave their mark, both positively and negatively. Relationally, who has positively marked you? What did they do/not do to influence your life in such a significant way?